A reading from the Gospel According to the American Ta-back-HO:
And it came to pass that Durham did Stumble O’er Loose Bricks, and amidst the giant turkey legs and dipped ice cream cones, a Colorfully Named Development Company did sponsor a libation enclosure, which Blazer Manpurse, BFA did enter (though he was a little torked at having to pay $10 to get in, but hey). And while there, the snark did fly from his lips, and there was passion.
And after a time, a special cup was proffered to Manpurse, and, being of unsound mind (not to mention body) from the previous several cups, he did take this one. “If it be possible,” he said, “make not this cup to pass my lips, because I’m getting a serious groove on.”
And groove he did. But he did not know that a “mickey” had been slipped to him. And after he acted like a cock three times, the colorfully jackbooted thugs did enter the garden and seize him, and he “snarked” all over their pretty boots, which did not make them any happier.
The thugs brought him to the Captains of Industry, who then handed Manpurse over to their leader, Paunchy Pileup, who asked what should be done with the prisoner.
“Redevelop him!!” they shouted.
And a shrewd smile did pass o’er the lips of Paunchy, and Manpurse did tremble, and a long night did pass , and deep doo-doo did occur.
The next morning, dark clouds broke and a wondrous sight did appear over the glistening new downtown. The glorified Manpurse was seen to hover over the See, Say, Be Plaza, and before he was assumed into the place that makes an ass of u and me, the spirit of snark burst forth and did descend upon all in the Bull City.
And when they learned what had transpired, all who dwelled there did say “Our most annoying blogger has left us, but we are all Blazer Manpurse now.” And they took the snark into their hearts and hatched many schemes.
And the Captains of Industry did tremble.