“True Quality” is the New “Hip”

Lest anyone reading this “Blog” think we’re some of those anti-development, artsy-fartsy wimps who are already pining for “The Way It Used to Be” in Durham, before the “Big Money” lamed the shit out of everything, we offer this little tidbit.

We’ve wondered for a few months now what the hell was going on between Fishmonger’s and Ogilvy Advertising (site of the charming red sign ragged on below), at a location known only as “111 North Duke.”

111 N Duke

It was fixed up recently, given a very spiffy front and back entrance, complete with shrubbery, faux gated community fence and oversized stupid lantern thingies that are supposed to connote “class”:

111 N Duke 2

Hmm, no signage at all except the address. And the only strange appendage to the building (other than that dude guarding the door who’s getting mighty suspicious) is a car ramp and garage door on the back.

Well, being part of the real estate artisan class, I set about accessing the ultra top secret databases that we realtors have access to and guess what? It’s home to a Glaxo VP’s collection of Porsches–and you can train your sales force there!

As Bob Ingram, the owner of the wondrous fleet, puts it, the collection “is about passion for life and true quality…I look at a porsche [sic] and take added pride that this is an investment that I believe in; Plus, I can ride, drive and touch it!”

Fuckin’ A, Bob. I’ve been sinking all my dividends into hog futures, and who the hell wants to touch those? The little tycoon in my pants salutes you, and gets just a little excited knowing that true quality is at last coming to the “New Durham.” But kids, watch those hipster belt buckles when you go inside—true quality paint jobs ain’t cheap.

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12 Responses to “True Quality” is the New “Hip”

  1. Sonja Foust says:

    Wow. Just wow. They had the bay door open one day when I walked by and I saw all the Porsches and just thought it was a Porsche dealership. Because, I don’t know, if you’re going to buy a Porsche, you just KNOW where Porsche dealerships are somehow. No signs needed.

  2. toieshat says:

    So they’re the ones who don’t want you to park your rusty ’91 Clinton/Gore Civic in that lot in the early morning to grab coffee at Olivio’s.

  3. kat says:

    the irony: it used to be a Honda garage.

    homeless guys in the parking lot, while the cars get heated quarters. didn’t the Romans do something like that?

  4. toieshat says:

    I should apologize to the fine folks at Alivia’s for referring to them as Olivio’s. I knew the place began and ended with one of the vowels. I wish they’d just call themselves Olivia’s so I wouldn’t be confused; I know how to spell that… Or Alliva’s, as in the Duke athletic director…

  5. Blazer Manpurse, BFA says:

    Apologize? Hey, you name your place something totally stupid, then charge six bucks for a draft beer–I say you deserve everything that’s coming to you. Let’s have MORE slings and arrows from the blogosphere!!

  6. Blazer Manpurse, BFA says:

    Oh, and don’t even get me started on “The Bull McCabe’s.”

  7. ms. pedalphile says:

    someone threw pot seeds in the shrubbery hoping weed will grow in time for prime selling at the new farmers market. coffee is for the s2000 driver; dope is for porsche owner.

  8. toieshat says:

    I think the cheapest thing on the dinner menu at OliveOyl’s when I tried to dine there was a $20 soup. I left in a huff. “Who do you think I am, Reade Seligmann?”

  9. Blazer Manpurse, BFA says:

    I threw some tabs of acid on the ground once, hoping a magic lollipop tree would grow. Instead, the parking lot in front of me turned pink and rolled up at the edges, like a tongue.

  10. EDLweiss1 says:

    Oh, thanks for this – I was wondering why I was suddenly unable to park in the Brightleaf parking that one weekend. I couldn’t understand why the place was roped off and a lonely old guard was standing there, looking completely superfluous.

  11. Juliann says:

    Hello, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam feedback?
    If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or
    anything you can advise? I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any help is very much appreciated.

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