Muttering vague but unsettling references to the “smashing successes” of “some Japanese relatives downsizing Tokyo” in the “good old days,” he shambled off into the thick poison ivy where he makes his home.
A quick search of online databases disclosed a 20 year-old lawsuit between the City of Durham and a plaintiff identified only as “Mr. D” to enjoin the city fathers from renaming a certain “Brontosaurus” to “Apatosaurus“. The legal action is in limbo after an expert creationist educator convinced the NC Supreme Court it was a moot suit due to anatomical incorrectness. Local observers say it has been “all downhill since then“.
[Editor’s Note: With this entry we welcome Broken Yellow Fangs to the ‘Shat team. BYF works nights running the valet parking and various other errands at an exclusive country club in Raleigh. We met him at the club’s annual “That’s What I Love About the South” bonfire, where his mental acuity—not to mention his personal bouquet, a musky blend of Chesterfields and Old Crow —hit us like a ton of bricks. The fact that he returned the ‘Shatmobile without a scratch (and with a “Baby Ruth bar” on the front seat) didn’t hurt either. Watch for his delusional rants and flights of fancy when his fingers stop shaking long enough to allow him to type.]