Manpurse Risen

Manpurse risen

A reading from the Gospel According to the American Ta-back-HO:

And it came to pass that Durham did Stumble O’er Loose Bricks, and amidst the giant turkey legs and dipped ice cream cones, a Colorfully Named Development Company did sponsor a libation enclosure, which Blazer Manpurse, BFA did enter (though he was a little torked at having to pay $10 to get in, but hey). And while there, the snark did fly from his lips, and there was passion.

And after a time, a special cup was proffered to Manpurse, and, being of unsound mind (not to mention body) from the previous several cups, he did take this one. “If it be possible,” he said, “make not this cup to pass my lips, because I’m getting a serious groove on.”

And groove he did. But he did not know that a “mickey” had been slipped to him. And after he acted like a cock three times, the colorfully jackbooted thugs did enter the garden and seize him, and he “snarked” all over their pretty boots, which did not make them any happier.

The thugs brought him to the Captains of Industry, who then handed Manpurse over to their leader, Paunchy Pileup, who asked what should be done with the prisoner.

“Redevelop him!!” they shouted.

And a shrewd smile did pass o’er the lips of Paunchy, and Manpurse did tremble, and a long night did pass , and deep doo-doo did occur.

The next morning, dark clouds broke and a wondrous sight did appear over the glistening new downtown. The glorified Manpurse was seen to hover over the See, Say, Be Plaza, and before he was assumed into the place that makes an ass of u and me, the spirit of snark burst forth and did descend upon all in the Bull City.

And when they learned what had transpired, all who dwelled there did say “Our most annoying blogger has left us, but we are all Blazer Manpurse now.” And they took the snark into their hearts and hatched many schemes.

And the Captains of Industry did tremble.

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11 Responses to Manpurse Risen

  1. sorry balzer but durham’s next big event will be Durham Riding. i’m bringing in my left coast connections to help with the planning. BCHQ want a piece of the action?

  2. Phil says:

    “SNARKY”. NC tag seen last week on a Ford Focus. Sorry it couldn’t be yours. Or maybe that WAS yours.

  3. barry ragin says:

    I’ll look for you in old Honolulu,
    San Francisco, Ashtabula,
    Yer gonna have to leave me now, I know.
    But I’ll see you in the sky above,
    In the tall grass, in the ones I love,
    Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.

  4. Alexander Wilson, Esq. says:

    This message is to the estate of Mr. Blazer Manpurse, BFA. This Alexander Wilson, president of the Durham Ornithology Society, Downtown Chapter. We have important matters to discuss with you regarding the work of the late Mr. Manpurse. Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

    Thank you,
    Alexander Wilson, Esq.
    President
    Durham Ornithology Society, Downtown Chapter
    Email: awilson.esq@gmail.com

  5. Sunwitch says:

    Alas, this was my favorite Durham blog.

    Blazer, we hardly knew ye!

    Forty-five years in this town, however, have taught me to let the good things go…gently…there may be even better things on the way.

  6. seanius says:

    So this was all just a viral marketing ploy for Snark!, a new malt beverage for the jaded creative classer. Flavored with brick dust, served in a blue-green-angular 80s glass bottle, Snark is sure to pick you up after a long night of blogging.

  7. Julie says:

    So that crappy light show was all a big prank hatched by Senor Hombre…er….Purse?

    I thought there must be a good explanation for that.

  8. Toastie says:

    Dammit, I relied on your blog to get visitors to my blog. I have no interesting content to speak for itself. Since you closed up shop, I’m just another person blogging about nothing and read by nobody.

    Oh, well. The McRib always comes back. Cher and Meat Loaf always come back (although never together, which would be awesome). Perhaps Blazer will as well…

  9. Dude, thanks for the brewski tonight, eh? 🙂

  10. I want to believe says:

    One year later, and Blazer Manpurse’s body still lies a’mouldering in the grave.

  11. Toby says:

    Blazer Manpurse (aka Subcomandante Marcos)
    lives!!!

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