Manpurse Risen

June 24, 2007

Manpurse risen

A reading from the Gospel According to the American Ta-back-HO:

And it came to pass that Durham did Stumble O’er Loose Bricks, and amidst the giant turkey legs and dipped ice cream cones, a Colorfully Named Development Company did sponsor a libation enclosure, which Blazer Manpurse, BFA did enter (though he was a little torked at having to pay $10 to get in, but hey). And while there, the snark did fly from his lips, and there was passion.

And after a time, a special cup was proffered to Manpurse, and, being of unsound mind (not to mention body) from the previous several cups, he did take this one. “If it be possible,” he said, “make not this cup to pass my lips, because I’m getting a serious groove on.”

And groove he did. But he did not know that a “mickey” had been slipped to him. And after he acted like a cock three times, the colorfully jackbooted thugs did enter the garden and seize him, and he “snarked” all over their pretty boots, which did not make them any happier.

The thugs brought him to the Captains of Industry, who then handed Manpurse over to their leader, Paunchy Pileup, who asked what should be done with the prisoner.

“Redevelop him!!” they shouted.

And a shrewd smile did pass o’er the lips of Paunchy, and Manpurse did tremble, and a long night did pass , and deep doo-doo did occur.

The next morning, dark clouds broke and a wondrous sight did appear over the glistening new downtown. The glorified Manpurse was seen to hover over the See, Say, Be Plaza, and before he was assumed into the place that makes an ass of u and me, the spirit of snark burst forth and did descend upon all in the Bull City.

And when they learned what had transpired, all who dwelled there did say “Our most annoying blogger has left us, but we are all Blazer Manpurse now.” And they took the snark into their hearts and hatched many schemes.

And the Captains of Industry did tremble.


Sobering sandwich

June 23, 2007

First off, we’ve got a two-peat “May We Suggest” winner in Derm Autophagia with the utterly charming crack pipe flag. Thanks to all who entered, and look for “Ol’ Cracky” flying high tonight on pole #4.

I just stopped in to grab a bite at the American Hero on Roxboro Street (have you seen their famous miracle, by the way? In the big plexiglass case by the counter? Astounding!) and they had the following leaflets available for the takin’:

Undertaker sandwich

I hope there’s no linkage between the cuisine and the limousine, but now I’m suddenly filled with a strange sense of dread. Good thing I’m off to drink heavily in the garden at the big Derm Rizing party. Liver don’t fail me now!!

Now that’s geeky

June 7, 2007

Nerd!!Sometimes, I love this world.

Specifically, the nerds of this world.

More specifically, the nerdy nerds of this town.

It’s no secret that the Ole North State has no shortage of persons of the dork variety, and that they have no problems finding each other. There are the requisite comic book conventions, gaming conventions, anime conventions, of course our own bitchin’ horror/genre film festival, hell, Raleigh even has its own Starfleet ship (who knew?).

But I feel like this weekend’s get together is the cherry on the giant dork cake. Not as flashy as the Dixie Gun and Knife Show (but still mightier-than-the-sword), it’s the Triangle Pen Show!

That’s right—four whole freakin’ days of nothing but implements to die for. And I’m not being a dick here—believe it or not, in the days before the internets your humble blogger had a mighty affair with nibs and parchment (the sight of a luscious Vacumatic or a good Moleskine still has the power to get my six cylinders a’firin’).

And best of all, through all this I find out there’s a Triangle Pen Club—and they meet in Durham! And aw, they make each other wooden pens with Bic inserts for the luvvapete:

Woody pen

Sorry, gentle readers, but honest to gawd, I feel like I’m falling in love with this town all over again. Just give me a moment and I’ll recover.

So maybe I’ll see you at the show in Cary (I know, I know…), I’ll be the guy who’s blotting his eyes with a kleenex every two seconds. Now we just have to figure out how to get cursive back in the curriculum in schools, hey?

Found (Durham edition)

May 31, 2007

For to buy a moon pie

(And of course, check out the granddaddy if you haven’t already…)

What brings us together

May 21, 2007

Bullsh@t search terms

The REAL “Durham One Call”

May 8, 2007

Lord Jesus, Call Me!