So it begins

June 22, 2007

Invite


May We Suggest…

June 21, 2007

PylonThe minutes are flying by ’til the big Downtown Derm Hoo-Hah celebration on Saturday.

Things seem to be shaping up pretty nicely—only a few dozen bricks to stumble over, instead of several thousand, still some “problem areas” here and there, but it looks like once again we’re gonna pull something nice from our collective corn chute.

I’m on board with renaming our new town square, the anachronistically dubbed “CCB Plaza,” something much more fitting with the ex-hippie vibe of this town. So for our purposes we’ll call it the “See, Say, Be Plaza,” hmm? Anyway, stumbling around the SSB earlier, I couldn’t help but notice that there are flag poles prominently placed there. Yes, not just one, not two, not even three—but four (count ’em!), four flag poles, highlighted below.

Four poles

Why so many? Oh come on, gentle reader. Lessee, there’s one for the US flag, the NC flag, maybe the Durham flag, and…and…hmm. I guess I’m stumped too. I don’t know what flag that fourth slot could be intended for—a jolly roger? McDonald’s? The flag of one of our sister cities? One for Elijah? The possibilities are endless. Here’s a few that pop to mind:

May We Suggest…flag edition

And let’s not stop the fun there. Submit your suggestions in the comments by NOON on SATURDAY, and we’ll see if we can’t get it run up the you-know-what in time for the festivities Saturday night.

Pictures are always helpful, of course, and there’s a fabulous prize at stake (a homemade Redman CD I found on the street the other day—broken jewel case and all. How’s that for Durham grit?) Let’s get cracking!


June 23 PartyBots

June 14, 2007

partay!


Another one bites the dust

June 12, 2007

Holy reacharound, people! An exciting scoop has just come in to the ‘Shatcave.

Bull Blaze Irregular “Bull Kalkhoffenbull” sent this red-hot item over the transom (tied to a large rock), and I think it’s gonna set the town afire.

Certain names have been altered to protect penniless blogging smartasses from getting hosed by deep-pocketed and potentially litigious development entities.

219 regular view

(click to enlarge)

DURHAM (June 12) – Yellowater Development announced today the acquisition of the Durham County Jail, which the company plans to rebrand “Mangum South: 219.”

“This is an exciting and unique addition to our downtown portfolio,” said Spencer ‘Spud’ Lebowski, the third, and little-known, Lebowski brother. Brother Spud has been a silent partner in the burgeoning Yellowater empire, but has been known to friends as ‘the Lebowski brother with the least to lose.’

A mixed-use, extended-stay center is envisioned for the property, which Spud said would “meet the lifestyle needs of an untapped market segment.”

“Many of our prospective tenants are looking for the security of a gated community,” he said. “Our customers do not want just anyone off the Durham streets to have access to them, and, frankly, would prefer not to have access to the street.”

Security will be a priority at Mangum South: 219. Uniformed officers will patrol the hallways, maintaining order and preventing residents from disturbing one another. Meals will be provided ‘al fresco’ on the Pettigrew Terrace. Each unit has a unique floor plan – ‘green design’ ensures that there is no wasteful heat loss through large windows, and one wall of each unit will have a specialized air circulation perforation pattern with metallic ‘climatizing bars.’ A health spa will boast ‘all of the latest free weights.’

Yellowater has announced their marketing campaign for Mangum South: 219, which will feature the catch-phrase “Be Someone’s Bitch Downtown.”


Pardon me for guffawing

June 7, 2007

Be very afraid, Dermites.

I have seen the future, and it is being marketed in Raleigh. “West at North,” a new residential condo funhouse in GlenSo, has a silly web site (complete with stupid “whooshing” noise, 3D flybys, insipid announcer, etc), but their print ads are really something special.

Let’s break down the colorful notice that appeared in last week’s Independent Weekly and see if there are any clues about the intended demographic, shall we?
Pardon me for puking

Sigh. Our time is coming…


Graffiti may be gang related

May 29, 2007

Graffiti reports are on the rise around the Triangle, and I thought I’d better get this one in. There have been some spray-painted “tags” popping up downtown, and we’re not doing ourselves any favors by just “hoping the problem will go away.” These are the results of gangs, people. And it’s time we admitted it.

Downtown graffiti

The “tag” at left is for a gang called “the Dox,” whose signature color is black. They’re a bunch of outside agitators known to swarm the Civic Center Plaza at regular intervals and completely obliterate all available cell phone bandwidth.

On the right is the latest iteration of the symbol for the “G-nasher$,” easily identifiable by their blue hair and seersucker bandanas. Some feel this group is more harmless, as it is more selective, rarely interacting with common folk. However, they’re well known as the “behind the scenes” power in this town. Approach at your peril.

I’m not sure what we can do about this, but when “these people” 1) just feel it’s “okay” to deface public property and 2) get away with it with impunity (the Dox tag has been there over two years now), I think we need to admit we’ve got a problem.

If this filth isn’t removed as quickly as it is in other parts of town, just think of the ramifications—these hooligans might keep congregating in the city center, or, worse yet, even start living there.


The Master Plan Revealed

May 13, 2007

Master Plan!

MP 2 3

Master Plan 3 v4