Sobering sandwich

June 23, 2007

First off, we’ve got a two-peat “May We Suggest” winner in Derm Autophagia with the utterly charming crack pipe flag. Thanks to all who entered, and look for “Ol’ Cracky” flying high tonight on pole #4.

I just stopped in to grab a bite at the American Hero on Roxboro Street (have you seen their famous miracle, by the way? In the big plexiglass case by the counter? Astounding!) and they had the following leaflets available for the takin’:

Undertaker sandwich

I hope there’s no linkage between the cuisine and the limousine, but now I’m suddenly filled with a strange sense of dread. Good thing I’m off to drink heavily in the garden at the big Derm Rizing party. Liver don’t fail me now!!


May We Suggest…

June 21, 2007

PylonThe minutes are flying by ’til the big Downtown Derm Hoo-Hah celebration on Saturday.

Things seem to be shaping up pretty nicely—only a few dozen bricks to stumble over, instead of several thousand, still some “problem areas” here and there, but it looks like once again we’re gonna pull something nice from our collective corn chute.

I’m on board with renaming our new town square, the anachronistically dubbed “CCB Plaza,” something much more fitting with the ex-hippie vibe of this town. So for our purposes we’ll call it the “See, Say, Be Plaza,” hmm? Anyway, stumbling around the SSB earlier, I couldn’t help but notice that there are flag poles prominently placed there. Yes, not just one, not two, not even three—but four (count ’em!), four flag poles, highlighted below.

Four poles

Why so many? Oh come on, gentle reader. Lessee, there’s one for the US flag, the NC flag, maybe the Durham flag, and…and…hmm. I guess I’m stumped too. I don’t know what flag that fourth slot could be intended for—a jolly roger? McDonald’s? The flag of one of our sister cities? One for Elijah? The possibilities are endless. Here’s a few that pop to mind:

May We Suggest…flag edition

And let’s not stop the fun there. Submit your suggestions in the comments by NOON on SATURDAY, and we’ll see if we can’t get it run up the you-know-what in time for the festivities Saturday night.

Pictures are always helpful, of course, and there’s a fabulous prize at stake (a homemade Redman CD I found on the street the other day—broken jewel case and all. How’s that for Durham grit?) Let’s get cracking!

Capitalizing on Our Strengths

June 6, 2007

It was a hotly contested…er…contest this time, thanks for the many wonderful entries.

Bullsville’s got a lot of sloganific qualities to capitalize upon: its newfound “Irish”-ness, its predilection for Oprah, its quality booty, even its steadfastly turgid bloggers. But Durham Autophagia takes home the prize this time for his contemporary spin on some boosterism from yesteryear:

May We Suggest…Tearin’ Shit Down

The Durham County Library gets credit for the original sign image, which can be seen in its historic geographic context at Autophagia’s renowned blog.

Pass the Alka-Seltzer

June 5, 2007

Ssshhhh, children. Mama’s got a headache.

I don’t discriminate…I woke up in a ditch several hours ago covered in wet beaver fur and sans my wallet. Ah, Durham—you still know how to party.

So while I scramble to reassemble my shredded dignity, I’ll give you your one-day warning to get your entries in for the latest “May We Suggest” contest, which you’ll find a few posts below. Tomorrow we’ll unveil the winner, who will receive the swingin’ refigerator magnet shown at right, the only thing I managed to lift from the Stuckey’s I stumbled across in my quest for a new “Depends” to get me on the road home. How I suffer for my art…

May We Suggest…

May 25, 2007

‘Tis a dark day in Derm town. It seems that another casualty of our relentless march toward chi-chi-dom is the Liggett & Myers ciggy air tunnel.

Even though these soaring tubes have inspired creative classers in other towns, there’s no place for them in Bullsville anymore. After all, no self-respecting yuppie is gonna lay out the big money for a fancy new condo that has an appendage accusing him of being a Quality Product (or Person), so it’s gotta go.

Cig Bridge, R.I.P.

I’m getting a little teary-eyed for the l’il guy–it will always seem like there’s a missing tooth on Main Street now. But since nature (and my commonlaw wife) abhors a vacuum, it’s time to figure out how we’re gonna fill the gap. Here’s some ideas from the ‘Shat brain trust:

May We Suggest…skyway edition

Now it’s your turn, ‘Shatters! Fill up the comments with your ideas, and the winner will get an extra-fancy prize. Bonus points for anyone who links to a nice picture too…

We want it all

May 6, 2007

What a tough decision…there were lots of truly great entries in the “What should the Oprah building say next” competition, (maybe Mr. Sturdivant would consider a weekly rotation of catchy slogans or something), but the cabal has spoken. Your winner, submitted by KFC, is the Parliament-ary:

We want the funk!!!

The judges credited it for the obvious “having a good beat and being easy to dance to,” and also for dovetailing nicely with our nostalgic pining for the gritty downtown Derm of yesteryear.

While the good colonel will get a genu-wine corncob pipe in which to smoke “ambacco” or whatever, the judges also felt that another entry, submitted by comfortably-dead actor Thalmus Rasulala, deserved a runner-up prize of two chalky white “Pong” balls for this bit of inspired nonsequiturism:

We want Dick!!!

So that’s how you roll? Count us in.

Get crackin’

May 4, 2007

No big update today kids (even we creative classers gotta work sometimes), but you’ve got until Sunday night to get your submission in for the “What should the Oprah building say next” contest below.

CobbyThe winner will receive their very own miniature Jimmy-Crack-Corncob Pipe, courtesy of the greatest store known to mankind, Sam’s Blue Light, purveyor of beerage, pipeage, and even “Pong” balls (can someone please tell me what the heck those are for-?).

Until next time…keep smokin’.